May 19
One of my all-time favorite movies as a kid was “Robocop.” It was the first R-rated movie I was allowed to watch and it was a doozy. (Oh, for the record I am not talking about the new Robocop that came out last year, I don’t know nothing abut that shiz.) In the first ten minutes, …
May 01
I have talked about it before that there is nothing worse than being up at 5 A.M. I honestly think instead of legislation for daylight savings time, they should just legally remove anything on the clock before 7 am. Recently though on an overnight in Idaho Falls, Idaho, I found something worse than being awake and at 5 …
Apr 23
This is a continuation of “Don’t Mess WIth a Mustachioed Man Part 1” Check it out if you haven’t! Where we last left off, an angry Drunk Guy on a Virgin America Flight I was on, was up in the flight attendants faces, pissed off because they wouldn’t serve him more booze and because he had …
Apr 13
I have written before about how I think a mustache gives a man an extra element of confidence. In the old west, the baddest of the bad asses were the ones with the biggest mustaches. They were the steely-eyed killer who could shoot a man down and then ride two horses at once. Well, …
Mar 03
Oh man. I have been away for a whole month without a post. I really suck. Part of me thought, “Oh crap, now I can’t post until I have something amazing!” Then I realized I will never have something amazing. Amusing would really be the best I could hope for. I am proud to …
Jan 30
I was going through security at five thirty in the morning recently and saw a little boy, my guess is four years old, standing in the middle of the airport wailing at the top of his lungs, with his blanket at his feet. His mother came over and tried to comfort him but with little …
Jan 22
I’ve talked about how as a first officer we just don’t get the respect the captain gets. I’m good with it most of the time. He gets all the glory but he is also ultimately responsible for the airplane. I am the first officer, but second in command and the captain is almost always there, …
Jan 13
One of the biggest perks of working for an airline is the travel benefits. People ask me all the time, “So, you get to fly for like free right?” Yes, I do. But there’s a but. The but being, “But it’s standby.” That is actually a huge but. Especially in this modern era of oversold flights and reduction of …
Jan 04
Shoot! The Holidays have passed and I haven’t even finished the First Officers Lament! It’s been over two weeks since I last posted. My first New Year’s resolution is to have something up at least once a week! And not to make it too long! And not to always be drunk when I am writing! …
Dec 19
Last week in the First Officer’s Lament: Part One, I talked a little bit about what it’s like to be a first officer at a commercial airline. Basically we are constantly playing second fiddle to the captain. Ninety percent of the captains I fly with are good, competent pilots that do I great job of running …